Nights likes these makes me want to do the incredible. It makes me cringe inside and all sorts of feelings comes out. - but a sentence like that stops everything and saves me.
I wonder if I’m even worth the effort to reconnect if that person and i ever stopped being friends.
I really hate talking to people when I’m like this you know, all emotional because of pms and shit but I usually talk to people who I know can make me happy and stuff, like there’s really only a few people I run to, to talk to. Every little thing triggers me and I wish it doesn’t. Which is why I avoid talking to people in general, I don’t want to be looked as as someone who gets sad or upset easily.. I just can’t help it.
I guess sometimes it hits me randomly. These sad emotions. Mostly when I’m alone though. Just, I guess something about you still makes me uneasy and I can’t put behind the past. I just can’t. It’s hard. It makes me ache and I wish this was all over. I wish I could just drop it and move forward, but it’s so freaking hard.
It’s hard. Putting on a face that you don’t mean. I hate having to put my best foot forward when that’s the last thing I want to do. Putting this “I don’t care, everything is fine” kinda look is tiring. I just want to be in my blanket burrito, that’s it.
your thoughts and efforts are insanely cute and touching. i just wish i could forget about everything and move on but i can’t, at least not now.
The way your present felt on me. You were always warm and gentle. I’m going to miss it but I just really can’t anymore.
i don’t expect you to understand and accept me but if you’re going to get mad for the thoughts that i can’t help, what do you want me to do? apologize for the way i feel? you want me to open up to you and not hide shit but when i do tell you, you get furious with what i feel? what kind of shit is that? sorry i’m not fucking perfect.
My priorities aren’t straight, and that’s one of my biggest downfall.
I’ve always seen myself as a nice, caring, good hearted person but maybe I’m really not. Maybe I’m just as cruel as a killer, as fucked up as a psychopath, and as mean as a bully. I don’t know. I’m starting to believe I’m a terrible person.. Can I start all over and erase the past?
I’ll always be misunderstood. Take my kindness and caring for granted and then turn your back on me.
It’s nice and comforting to know you’re around. Feelings for you or not, ill always feel a sense of security when I’m around you. It’s comforting and having your company is nice. Kinda wish I was the same for you and that I could just go to you whenever, but that’s okay too.
sometimes i sit and zone out and think about how lost i am. my priorities aren’t straight, i do things my parents would never be proud of, and i’m just a mess. i feel like i don’t know which direction i’m going.. as much as i love doing things as life takes me, i know i shouldn’t right now because of my age and i just have so much more important things to do at the moment but the crave to just be free and do things how i like, is killing me.
everything just feels so wrong. everything is wrong.. and i don’t know how i can fix it.
